In pre-revolutionary Russia, a rabbi was walking to the synagogue. Consider those two questions “Who am I? What am I doing?” One of the better ways to live life with intention is to listen to yourself deeply. Each day with intention can be energizing and fulfilling Living. All too often we find ourselves looking forward to some outside influence to come along and give our lives meaning.

What kind of options do I have to be making now to live out the life I wish to live? You can get to the main point where your work (or your business) is operating you, rather than your work (or business) actually serving what you truly want for your life all together.

We get mounted on life happening exactly as we have prepared. The task, though, is how to be more comfortable with the both/and way of living our lives. Just about everyone has been taught that choices we make must be either/or choices. And yet, it’s by embracing the paradox that people can begin to live as comfortably in the not-knowing as in the knowing. The poet, David Whyte, details this to be able to contain both “Ah!” of breakthrough, and revelation, as well as the “Argh!monday morning” of driving to work through sluggish traffic on a gray.

It’s like knowing the grief of shedding a client while simultaneously experiencing the joy of attaining a new customer. This means allowing ourselves to see the richness of the both/and. It’s about making programs and at the same time not growing so mounted on them that people overlook opportunities placed before us–opportunities that are much higher than we’re able to have imagined in our planning.

Or about making plans and becoming so mounted on them that we are devastated when they don’t unfold as we have imagined. This is a real way to strategy what life hands us in our personal lives, as well as our business lives. I’ve a friend who’s among living one’s life with intention. She’s made choices which have taken her out of the hurry and scurry to a simple life in the country. Her options have been simple, and yet the process had not been without pain and grief.

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When she was very young, she’d made her “life list.” Knowing what she was desired by her life to look like, she wedded her closest friend. In her reserve, The Female Advantage, Sally Helgeson focuses on the strategies and business theories of four successful leaders. These women learn how to plan and strategically, at the same time, not get so mounted on those programs that they miss rising opportunities and risks that necessitate changing those programs.

They are versatile enough to notice opportunities and respond to dangers in a well-timed way. They trust that the opportunities that can come their way shall unlock their futures. They understand that the future can’t be reduced to a straightforward matter of objectives nor achieved by the mere application of will. Living your life with intention will not be exactly like your co-worker or friend might take action.

I keep thinking I’m eventually going to get there. It’s constantly being demonstrated, though, that it is a never-ending process. It’s about being authentic; having a uniformity between our words and our activities; between who we say we are and how we live. Having said that, though, we are all “inauthentic” from time to time. We have to be thoughtful in certain situations. Listen to yourself deeply; focus on developing self-awareness. Take action, and trust yourself. Find support; have a coach, a group, or family to talk with. This piece was started by me thinking and writing about paradox and making choices, and I find myself back at the start. We all have made selections for which we are responsible–choices that may have hurt ourselves or another person, though we didn’t know we were making flawed choices at that time.

Therefore, the highly competitive beginner working without a trainer is virtually a mythical creature. As a total result, most highly competitive amateurs are influenced, for better or worse, by a trainer. Trainer A thinks in doing things the old-fashioned way, through hard training and work. Her clients are satisfied with small victories, plus they pride themselves on being good sports and good horsemen. Trainer A discourages her clients from advertising their success in industry journals because she believes it is “tacky.” Trainer A’s clients have a good amount of show ring success, however they also have plenty of little bobbles.

Once in some time, they have a moderate wreck even. Trainer A is out there in the warm-up ring always, riding horses and occasionally raising her voice to call out instructions to her clients riding their horses. At the end of the show day, Trainer A’s shirt is wrinkled, her boots are dusty, and she looks tired.